Stuck inner Garrett
From: Kevin Rudd
To: Peter Garrett
Subject: It's logical
PM Kevin here. How are you? I am fine.
Look, well done on making the tough decision re the uranium mine. I know you'll probably get flak for it, especially as you used to sing anti-uranium songs. But the truth is, we all change our opinion - it's human nature!
Why, I used to like caramel ice cream; now I like strawberry. This really is no different: you used to dislike uranium mining; now you like it! And applying that logic, you could change the lyrics to 'Dead Heart'.
Here's my suggestion:
ORIGINAL: Mining companies, pastoral companies, uranium companies, collected companies. Got more right than people. Got more say than people.
CHANGE TO: Mining companies, pastoral companies, uranium companies, collected companies. Good for working families. Moving forward, all the aforementioned company types will gather positive results in terms of detailed programmatic specificity.
And you thought I couldn't rock!
Anyway, don't lose your hair over it.
['Inbox One' by Patrick Witton, Ointment, The Big Issue no. 334]