Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Most Value

In a list of the public utilities that give you the most value, I consider gratis items to hold the most value and additional administrative expenses or exorbitant tips to hold the least.

  1. the library
  2. a free education, a quiet place of refuge, free entertainment, one of the few places where you can still borrow things and promise to give them back without money exchanging hands
  3. the park
  4. amenities you can use without waiting in a queue and the drink is as free as the nearest tap, a ready site for a range of free exercise, picnic here for a delightful and inexpensive date, the chance for a piece of nature if you otherwise lift in a strictly built environment, benches to sleep on and grass to sprawl on
  5. the abandoned quarry
  6. everything from masturbation to motocross is possible here - just be careful
  7. median strip
  8. considered neutral territory by many in the neighbourhood and so relatively safe from dispute, unlike an alley, where your very presence could pose a threat. As with the quarry, care needs exercising, only here the danger is not from sudden drops but rolling in your sleeping bag in front of sleepy night time traffic
  9. the mall
  10. best enjoyed when deserted as there are many seats to eat your fish'n'chips if you don't feel like walking all that way to the wharf, a place to get sunshine while reading your magazine and no problem with eating here or even watching the crowd go by - few sites afford this much stress-free and gleefully irresponsible social interaction. Window shopping can be diverting as long as it doesn't stimulate your penury gland.

7 Comments:

At 5:55 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 4:13 pm , Blogger Berko Wills said...

You know, you give bud a bad name. Not to mention height enhancement, donger enlargement, various other disconnected things that are not even a patch on my original post.

Depressing when the only comments I can get are brainless spam.

 
At 2:07 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 12:46 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:27 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)

 
At 12:55 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 10:54 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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