Thursday, October 13, 2005

Tea for Two and Forty Two

I'm impressed. This year has been a real improvement for me personally. My ex said that getting the divorce would free us up and give a sense of closure and that appears to be the case. All going well, I should be visiting my newest love interest over the holidays and there will be a dramatic change from the last four years or so.

I guess I'm an odd one as I've had women thrust themselves at me - in one case literally: "accidentally" sit on my lap on the bus, be insistent on inviting me to stay at their place overnight, stop in the middle of the footpath expecting me to pick up the cue, basically give all the signs without me having to do any work and, like a complete and utter doofus, I've let many many opportunities go. This has nothing to do with any religious or moral proclivities and everything to do with shyness. I've hated it and fought against it, naturally, all my life. I'm philosophical about it and guess I'm on an even footing with someone who doesn't have the looks but is perfectly outgoing and ready to seize any opportunity that comes their way. Or indeed to make opportunity. But I'll be damned if I want to wake up an old man whose time has passed and spend my remaining years beating my forehead over what a fool I was. Now it looks as though I won't have to. So a very good year.

The last time I agonised about getting older was when I turned 30. It seems, following that, that it gets easier. There isn't a lot of difference between being 37 and 38, of being 41 and 42. And I am happier and more assured of my position in the world than when I was half the age. It's all good, as they say nowadays.


At 1:56 pm , Blogger Sherry Pasquarello said...

when you turn 50 you can dance on a table, i did! and cake, must have cake! life is uncertain, eat dessert first!


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